What You Have to Say

------------------------------------------------------------

When you have all these people in your life,
When you think all this love is there,
When you try to tell them what you think,
The response you get is bare.

As you go through life trying to strive,
As you put out everything you got,
As you wait for them to stay it stinks,
All you get is squat.

While you try to remain alive,
While you struggle every day,
While you watch everyone blink,
Just remember....
The important thing is what you have to say.

------------------------------------------------------------

This poem came to me while I was browsing Facebook and tried messaging a couple people who I used to talk to before and both times they ignored me. It showed the message was seen but they didn't reply and been ignoring me for days now. It's frustrating and I feel as though even though you have people you know in your life, that it doesn't really matter because one day they can just ignore you for no reason that's obvious to you.

You try to show people what you think, do, or want to say and they never acknowledge you since their lives are more important right?

It made me scared to say what I think or feel to these people, or to anyone who acts this way. I went through a time that I never spoke what I thought or felt....just to avoid the let down. My boyfriend talked to me though and made me realize that was no way to live so I started opening myself up once again, but the same thing is happening that happened years ago....I feel as though I should just stop trying to reach out to anyone if all they'll do is just shun me like some dog on the street.

You may have alot of things to say, alot of important things, but what's the point if nobody is going to listen?

What Do You Do?...

What do you do when
the one you hated most,
starts to talk to you again?

What should you do when
he explains himself to you,
makes everything clear and plain?

What would you do when
he gets close to you once more,
your heart starts to beat faster than a train?

Why is it that I used to hate him,
but now, he's in my head again?

Why is that I now wait for him?
Why is he there, more and more, in my brain?

Why can't I just let him go?

-_-_-_-_-_-

This is about my first ex boyfriend at this school. The ones before this one were all about my second ex boyfriend. But this one's about the first. He recently started talking to me again, started asking me why I hated him so. Asked my why I continue to be cool with my second ex when my second ex was the one who hurt me more than he did. He started bringing many things back to light, made me realize that I hate him for doing nearly nothing to me, and I hang with the guy who hurt me to the point where I can't stand it (second).

And this is my recent reaction to him...

Yesterday...

Part 2:Re-living the Past

Yesterday, I fell...
into your trap,
forever.

Yesterday, you said...
I love you now;
whatever.

Yesterday, I said...
I love you too;
now, never.

***

Yesterday, She told me...
Why do you play,
into his game?

Yesterday, I told her...
I don't know why;
it causes me pain.

***

Before, I was blind.
Now, I am not.
Now, I can fight,
And see what I've sought.
_________________________________

This poem was trying to get the basics of what happened down in rhyming form, along with my thoughts on the matters. When he told me he loved me, I think back and say to myself, "whatever". I told him I loved him, now I think, not now, not ever. My friend asked me ( irritated ), why do you play into his games? Why do you fall into his traps? and the only answer I had for her was...I don't know >.< We both agreed it caused me pain. I was blind before, not seeing what he was doing, or what he's done. but now, i can fight back. see my goal again (to forget and move on)

Please let me know if these stink. This one, I'm not so sure of it's quality. I would appreciate it if you let me know what you think, and what you think could have been better. Thank you