KaidaFaye Online

Just Another Slap in the Face

Sun Nov 1, 2009, 2:44 PM

* Mood: Vengeful

"Grow up." I hate that phrase. I find it ironic that when i finally get to make a decision that can really affect my life, I can't choose between limitless options. I just can't. It's like throwing a toddler that just learned how to walk into a marathon. It's pathetic--I'M pathetic. I lack motivation to do anything, and I know I can do it. I'm just too fucking lazy. I'm letting an inferiority complex get the best of me, I actually start expecting other people to help, when in the end it all comes down to what I think, and what I think alone, and what I do about it. And what I think just doesn't seem to click with what I know is the right thing to do. I'm a stupid little teenager that knows what to do and chooses not to do it. And why? Just because I'm lazy. It doesn't interest me at all. And I don't want to think that I'm one of those "regular" kids, when I might truly be one. A mediocre stereotypical 16 year old girl. Gross.

I don't go for education. I go for the experience. Probably the only motivation for even graduating and going to college is so that I can experience it all. Yeah, I appreciate what I learned along the way--but it doesn't interest me. Nothing interests me. My grades suffer because I'm a selfish brat and when I do try my best it doesn't even show. Probably the only way I can get better at something is to compete--but what good will it do if that person doesn't know that we're competing?

The only respect I receive is when I draw something, and even then it lasts a maximum of maybe 10 minutes. Drawing. That's all I can do. No matter how much I improve, it's not something my parents will be proud of. My friends would just look at it, have a few comments, then forget about it in the next 5 minutes. It's just something to amuse myself with.

I need to turn my life around. I'll show you. Being lazy may be something I can fix. Just watch. Fuck you, Calvin. Never compare me and that kid.

Someone Kidnap Me, Please...

Mon Jun 8, 2009, 4:27 PM

* Mood: Alienated
* Listening to: "Semi-Charmed Kind of Life"-Third Eye Bl

I have done nothing worthwhile since school let out on the 3rd =D *shot* My best friends are out doing things, but I'm staying home cuz, according to Minto, my parents are losers. I need more female friends-maybe I'd have more of a life if I did.

Yesterday and the day before my dad had us move old crap from this house to the other one(it's half storage half rented out to people) so we can organize the stuff we're selling at the flea market next weekend(we're kind of tight on the green stuff at the moment). My parents are saying it's to help out, but I think getting a job will be more steady with my share of the income...but I'm not allowed to get a job. I might end up just saying "hey, take my phone back" because I'm supposed to come up with the money for my part of the bill, but with no job how am I supposed to pay for it? He says to use the money we make from eBay and Craig's List will get us somewhere, but...really? It's not as easy as he thinks...STOP BEING OVERPROTECTIVE AND LET YOUR 16-YR-OLD GET A F***ING JOB!!! *dies*

Enough of the complaining-here's what I've done so far regarding things in my personal life:
-finished 3 of the 7 character designs(clothing) for the promo; Keitaro, Zak, and Monique. Today I'm going to finish the rest since I did those three last night. Calvin's is next =3
-watched a shitload of anime
-tortured the cat
-spent my time with the fairy that crawls through my window every night(it's a human-sized "fairy"). Next time we're playing Jenga =D
-cursed the fact that even though I live in Florida, we haven't gone to the beach in sooooo long

So, today I has to finish the rest of the character sketches and get my brother to scan them in for me so I can send them to Minto to look over. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll be able to finalize the school's design so I can start the comic tonight/tomorrow(past midnight).

Also, sorry for those people watching me and I haven't uploaded anything in so long-no scanner, and Judd(my older brother) is too busy to scan things in for me on a whim.

...Might as well get back to work.

-KF

Hiatus

Here's the reason-I thought I got rid of all the viruses on the computer because it was running fine and dandy once I finished. But the next day, every time I logged into the Admin user(the only user), it logged right back out. So, even though I have some cool doodles and pictures I'm working on/finished, they won't be uploaded anytime soon. I'm actually on my brother's laptop and he's such a wonderful person even though I know I can be a pain(I love you Judd!) and my boyfriend is absolutely fantastic(I love you Johnny 5/Wafflez!) and Minto and Cal are doing their best even though I'm such a pain to them too(I love you Mo and Cal !!) and every single wonderful person I've ever met(I love you all!)
...my feet are cold and my food's been sitting in the microwave for about 20min...I'm gonna go reheat it. Bai!! I hope to upload soon! =3
-KF

Girl Rant Ahead!!

I'm not too fond of people that label themselves "emo" and deny being a "scene kid"(plz take no offense if you're one of them, I have friends that are like that and I love them to death =3), yet I love the look. Getting my hair cut soon, hopefully this week since I HAS A DATE(zomg) and I've been looking at the hairstyles...I don't like too many of them, but some of them are pretty cute-same goes for the eye makeup. I suck at makeup, and maybe it's cuz I hate my eyes since they're not the size of golf balls (more like almonds), but I wanna know how the **** they do their eye makeup x_x I kinda don't wanna go ahead and do the hair cut and just get a trim cuz then all these people will think I'm all emo/scene (doesn't help I kinda dress that way too-can't help it, I'm awesome in black/plaid/rainbowz*I'm straight, thanks*).

*clears throat* Well, uh...just wanted to get that off my chest. Now for the REAL post!!

Gotta take my government midterm tomorrow since I was sick during D= I'm in the middle of developing the main buildings and backgrounds for G33K!! and finalizing the character designs I've been weary about. Also gotta clean that room of mine*shot* There's barely enough room to sleep, my crap takes up my sleeping space! Not that I get much, I'm and insomniac, I've had maybe 3 1/2 hours of sleep, 5 tops, in the past couple of days. Hopefully I'll get enough sleep so I'll be rested for the weekend since MO AND CAL AND ME AND THIS AWESOME GUY(broke up with my boyfriend recently, if you hadn't caught on) might be heading out for a double-date kinda deal. It's pending since it's Cal's Mummeh's burthdai.

That's...that's basically it...OKLOVEYABAIII =3

-KF

Cal-kun's Art...

...or doodles, either phrase will do-CalWoof(more commonly known as Cal-kun from my comic G33K!! Offline)(more proof to you guys that my life is indeed like that comic, since he's, y'know, real?) finally uploaded some of his shtuff onto theO =O *gasp*. So, go to his fan art and check it out-he's gonna be a cartoonist someday, I know it. Prolly not in the manga form, but definitely a good one =3
-KF