deviantART: kaidafaye.deviantart.com tumblr Sketchblog: jennidoesart.tumblr.com
Official Website: jennidoesart.com

Do I have enough tape?

Tue Sep 29, 2009, 9:44 PM

* Mood: Tired
* Listening to: A tutorial on the chain rule (AP Calc)

I have to tape the pages of my sketchbook because I found out in class today that they're perforated(so I had to tape over the lines so that they wouldn't fall out of my book in the future). I have a month to do the Summer project(18 pages in my sketchbook on a theme; mine is my unique 90s childhood). It's fun so far--I'm excited to start the project. I have 4 pages due on an artist related to my theme due Monday and a reference photograph of me relating to my theme due Thursday.

My dad learned how to make okonimiyaki--I'm excited. I took one to Jesus school so that I could eat, since I went from practice, to home for 15minutes, then to Jesus school. I asked the lady if I could eat; she said no, so about 5minutes later I just walked out with my stuff and ate outside...NOBODY GETS BETWEEN ME AND MY FOOD D=<

Happy anniversary-ish Mo and Cal!!! <3 Now if only I had a love live =3

Anyway, back to studying so I can start my AP 2D STUDIO ART homework XD *I'm getting too excited*

I need sleep.

-KF

Getting New Sketchbooks Makes Me Feel Awkward =(

Mon Sep 28, 2009, 9:20 PM

* Mood: Excited
* Listening to: "Dancing in the Moonlight"-Toploader ver

It really does. Maybe it's because I mostly draw manga and the fact that I'm still mediocre when it comes to realism and other art forms...I'd feel better if I could make my sketchbook(but I don't have the right paper for that, since I'll be painting in this thing, too). The fact that my mom is being critical of me throughout the whole trip, like saying "the paper is the same" or "those aren't sketchbooks"(when they really are). The best sketchbook I could find, since the bookstore was the only place open right now, was one with one of those wooden-drawing-figures in the corner of it...it practically screams "I'M GONNA DRAW, SO I'M GETTING THIS STEREOTYPICAL SKETCHBOOK =B"...I'm self-conscious when it comes to things like that. Like carrying around educational books to make up for the pile of manga I have in my arms...well, back then--now I read everything online, so that's not really a current problem.

Anyway, tried to draw BoA from a reference shot(not in the sketchbook, on a piece of paper...with blue crayon), and it wasn't very good =( I'll scan it in later--there's so many mistakes in it DX

I'm gonna go decorate my stereotypical sketchbook now =D BAICAN'TWAITFORMYFIRSTAPSTUDIOART2DCLASSTOMORRO W<3

-KF

I wanna be artsy fartsy too DX

Tue Sep 22, 2009, 9:24 PM

* Mood: Irritated
* Listening to: "Dark Humor"-Poison Ivy League

So I told my mom that I was switching from AP Psychology to AP (Studio) Art tomorrow morning and she went crazy. Still switching it. The only art class I've ever had was back in elementary school; 4th and 5th grade were the best--we participated in the Street Painting Festival and everything. She went on about how it's not gonna get me anywhere and etc...it's my 6th area for the IB Programme and not a core class, I think I'm fine, right?

AAAAAANYWAY I want Saturday to come. Double dateage with Mo and Cal(hopefully). Then we're going to see the variety show to watch Cal and the other 2 kids be awesome musical people =3 They were on some internet radio show last night and it ROCKED. It's the coolest thing ever to hear your best friend talking like he's someone we're not supposed to know him through some device. Mo and I were fangirling the whole time. Ridiculous <3

Mo and I are gonna work on the comic Monday, I think. Gotta finish by Cal's birthday =B

Anyway, I'm gonna go do...things. Maybe I'll draw. I should do that more, huh? Sorry about the lack of decent stuff =(

Sad Songs on the Radio

Sun Sep 20, 2009, 8:58 PM

* Mood: Confused
* Listening to: "What Went Wrong?"-blink-182

I'm supposed to be over it. Why am I so crushed? I let him take over my life back then, and now I'm paying for it. His ex is now his girlfriend for the 50millionth time and now even though he's my best friend I can't even talk to him because she hates my guts.

Why did I even tell him those things? Why did I let him take everything? Why am I so upset about such a stupid person? Why even get annoyed by it? He's just a best friend. That I loved. From middle school And things happened over the past 4 years. He's not worth it. He was so much trouble. I can have a pick of basically whoever I want, I shouldn't be upset because he said things that usually don't happen. I shouldn't have believed him in the first place.

Why won't this all disappear? I keep letting feelings get in the way of things. It's nothing to kill myself over. I know the logic. The smart thing to do would be to drop everything related to him. But I know I won't. And I know he's gonna pop up at the least expected time again at my school or something and give me those eyes; then when my guard is down, those feelings I managed to put away will come leaking out for the millionth time, and things will start up again. Because I can't let go of things. I can't let go. I gotta chop my hands off.

Sorry for the emo-ness; I'm venting.

-KF

Why I Comick So Damn Much

Sat Aug 22, 2009, 3:46 PM

* Mood: Tearful
* Listening to: "Soaring"-Sydney Forest
* Reading: over the comic
* Drinking: Tang

Monique, you can't even come over during the week to work on the comic. My mom wants me to focus on school and doesn't give a damn that we already payed for the table and etc. Let's see if we can do it at school, ok? Like in the library, or the band room when there isn't any practice. I'll see if you can come over tomorrow after church, but again--I have no fucking clue.

I hate living at my house. I have overprotective parents that don't give a damn about my hobby or what I think. My dad never liked me drawing manga and calls anime "La La Land". My mom just looked at my work and called it cute, nothing else. I never was allowed to hang out with my friends, especially if they were also into anime and manga and video games. I also wasn't as outgoing as I am now, so I spent most of my time reading fiction to get away from it. Even in elementary school, I stayed after school with the library assistant to read and help out. All that reading is probably why English continues to be my best subject. But I really liked art. I tried out every form I encountered. The only time I regretted trying out a style was the only time my dad thought it was absolutely spectacular--I find squeezing paint out of those pen-like tubes fun, even back then. I was doing that and had paint all over one of my folders and left it on the table. I was gonna throw it away later, but I wanted it to dry so my mom didn't get mad at me if I got paint somewhere. Well, I went back and found it gone, so I figured somebody threw it out for me. Then at the kitchen table, my dad said I made something great and I thought he was talking about a drawing I did earlier that day. Then he took out the folder and I got really mad, saying I didn't mean to make it. Then that night I ripped it up and threw it away. That probably seems really stupid and childish, but...I was around 8 or 9--what do you expect?

I started dabbling in manga, I got really into it--loved it obviously, since I'm still doing it. So I experimented a lot over the years and finally got my "style" down. I'm still experimenting with other styles, but so far this is pretty stable. When I think manga, I think fantasy, and video games. Something that isn't my life. My life at home is boring and lonely and depressing--not like "I wanna kill myself" but more of "When I'm 18, I'm so out of here". I hate going home. At home, I have to act like someone completely different. I can't joke around like I do at school or with my friends. My teachers probably have a better understanding of what I'm like than my parents do. I can't openly express my love for anime and manga because I get criticized if I play any foreign music, draw, or watch anime. I have to shut myself up in my room to do it, and then they get mad if I do that. My parents want me to be this big scholar person that makes a gazillion dollars when I just kind of want to live a peaceful life in an apartment somewhere working on G33|<!! or in a cottage in the woods painting my life away and living off what I have. If it wasn't for the fact that I need money, I wouldn't even give a damn about college.

In short, I comick because I need to get away without really getting away. I want to do something right. I'm not that good at school, or sports, or anything else for that matter. I'm not musical, I'm not an actor/actress, I'm not as sweet as honey, and I'm not studious. I'm a girl that tatoos bleached leaves with graphite dreams and acid thoughts because the rabbit hole to my wonderland is barred shut until further notice.

-KF