i knew it.
i knew this was going to happen.
i finally get around to doing what i need to and i get rammed in the face with a brick wall of more problems.
a freakin, thick wall of stone crushing my skull...it's like...you finally make it across one road of a highway only to get hit by a speeding truck at the threshhold of the next T_T
i have always known life likes to screw me over as a hobby, but it's horribly upsetting to a messed up person such as myself to make progress at being better, or trying to be better really--which is very difficult for me, you have no idea--, and not only not get any results above baseline--which would have been fantastic-- but to have them tank into the vacuum currently making it's job to suck up everything i am working towards...
sigh...
i know it's not a huge deal really.....and i won't and don't honestly take it as such...i'm mostly just ranting in frustration of the moment...
sighsighsigh...
and the worst part of all............................................THEREISNOFOODINTHISHOUSE...IAMSOHUNGRYRIGHTNOW DX
like that kind of hungry were your stomach hurts and you can feel it up in your throat, begging for sustinence.....
i will be forced to resort to cannibalism soon it seems..and in that case i must then part take of my sibling, for i'm sure she is very nutritious...
life...you may have cut off my limbs but i shall come back...and bite your damn legs off...cause that's how we black knights roll T 3T
Something for your eye gouging pleasure...a long and annoying update on my life and what is going to happen in the near and distant future *nod*
SIGH, well took me a while to get around to writing this(and then to get it up here XP)…been very busy, or at least for me it is…I mean I have moved more than I would in two months in the last three weeks! It’s been very hard on me I think T –T i mean yesterday i slept through the entire day from 4 am to 5 am the next day! i slept through two very annoying alarms! it was my body taking matters into it's own hands i think T 3T sometimes it does that...my body and mind are definately two entities...
Anyways, the simple of it is, I have been trying to come back to life lately. I sort of imagine myself as having been dead my entire life and now I have started digging my way to the surface, to live among the humans, masquerading as one in order to have a “normal” existence.
I really took my dog’s death as a (I apologize how cliché this may sound to some people) sign from God. It was something I always knew would happen and anticipated in the last few weeks of her life, but I suppose the suddenness of it all and then learning it was the same cancer that had taken my grandma when she was still so young (only just turned 69!)…it was a wake-up call that I knew I needed but had never truly felt. That life is unexpected, no matter how fully I live by ‘expect the unexpected’, I can’t avoid that things happen whether you want them or not, and even if you were knowing that it was on its way the full force of it knocks some of your brain loose again. I loved my dog greatly, and I adored my grandmother. Even though I have always had problems, and I know I always will, and while I can empathize with wished to simply end it all, there is this small biting fire inside me that wants to live. I want to go to college, I want to find something I love to do, I want to find my someone, I want to have children and make my parents grandparents—they would be great ones too!—, I want pets of my own, a home of my own, I want to grow old hand in hand with my love, and I want to live a long life with purpose, then slip soundly into heaven, and meet everyone I loved and lost and the reason for my being ‘face’ to ‘face’. I have hopes in life, and I never once believed I couldn’t one day have those. Having this loss really reminded me, as much as I can take my time to be ready, I also need to keep myself moving, or else all these experiences will fall into the abyss I can’t seem to climb out of.
All this kicking got me to know I need to be thinking about college, sure it won’t be where I’m going tomorrow or this school year but it should be soon and I am going to need to work hard to be ready. I have things I need to accomplish before I can do that, and I want to be able to get to that first day…with a dorm and strange roommate and everything—eventhough I’m sure I won’t be too fond of having a roommate -___- —and know that I made it and be proud of myself for once. With this going on now, I don’t know how much I will be able to be around…and it truly saddens me, but until I can find my footing in this new life of mine, I just can’t be wasting and procrastinating (as I am quite skilled in). I will always try to make time for my friends and I will always be lurking every now and then even if I don’t make myself present :’)
Onto some fun stuff! I think I finally tacked down a major after all the depressing uncertainty I had when wishing for a career in Vet Tech areas, I will still try and study some Pre-Vet though even if I don’t major because I love it still and who knows what will come along in life ^_^ I have chosen something I always knew I liked and thought about but simply wasn’t sure of, and that is Majoring in Psychology. Seems appropriate, right? It’s kind of been my whole life really XP Then I would like to Minor in Writing. Not because I intend to have a writing career but I would love to one day publish some of my original fiction ideas and stories. It’s all writer’s dreams to have their own work in a nice, brand new book smelling, hard back novel. To do this, I need to know the ACTUAL rules of writing which I now do not really abide by so learning would be a great help regardless! As I said I will surely try and look into some pre-vet education but I won’t do anything career wise with it
I already have a college picked out too! One I loved from the first time I toured, and the other day I got back from an overnight tour thing which only made me seal the deal permanently! Especially my talk with a very kind and understand admissions counselor who helped me figure out what to do in order to be ready to apply ^-^ it’s wonderful to have a plan now and a real goal to be heading for *nodnod*
So hopefully, I will be a student of the class year 2013 along with my sister and second best friend! Sure, it will be the year that my graduating class will be starting their junior years but I wasn’t ready then plus it’s not like I’m advancing with them all and staying behind...it will be a new world full of new people and I will have my sibling and friend there with me too :3 so I’m not worried, I’m hopeful.
My life checklist currently:
-Finally get my 2nd semester of geometry finished
-Subsequently, getting my high school diploma (yes, I did graduate but I have this one semester I failed and while I can just not do it and get my GED, I am not letting a little bit of math keep me from a college prep diploma when I had more credits than necessary for the honors…I will not. T 3T)
-Get my driver’s ed. Permit
-Get my license
-Get a job(maaaaaaaaybe)
-Study and prepare for the SAT/ACT
-Take and kick the butts of SAT/ACT
-(if SAT/ACT required then will do after if not then during) take around 24 hours of community college to get a new GPA to rule out my horrid high school one and show the college I CAN work despite my issues before weighing me down
-Apply to college!
-GET IN! (would be AWESOME bonus to be eligible for an academic scholarship!..but that is unlikely T-T)
-Start my 6 year work towards my future!
So that is going to be my life until that school year of 2013! Pray for me those that pray and wish well those that don’t…it’s going to be a long road and I’m still just starting
All that aside, I have a few drawings that I scanned in a couple days ago that I shall start slipping in! none of it is anything big, all sketchy, and then gaia avie art for people..on gaia, obviously
Alrighty, so here's the deal.
I have now finished putting up all the blob doodles I have done and uploaded for my fan comic The world of Blobs. I am going to make more, currently I have to in my head which i must get down on paper before I forget them...and i'm sure I can start spirting out several new ones after that. ^-^ I want to thank all of you who have viewed, favorited, or commented on the comics I appreciate it so very very much!!! I'm glad I could rot our mind with pointless, disturbing, and occasionally morbid humor.
I finished loading my big batch of drawings and put up my four which I did after those, currently I have two of those up and I still have two to go, one that I'm currently working and one that is in my brain. I can't wait to get them all up for you too see, I would greatly enjoy some comments on them!! If you don't want too that's alright, I'll just send an ill-tempered, mutated sea bass to devour you whole. (yes, I made an Austin Powers reference....they make me giggle:P Especially Dr. Evil--hint the title is a paraphrased version of Dr. Evil talking about his father, the entire quote, for the most part, "He would make outrageous statements like "I invented the question mark" or "Chestnuts are lazy"...)
Now, on behalf of my story The Catalyst, I have finished chapter four and it has been edited, though I need to speak with my editor, MerokoYui4, about some of it...anyway what I am here to speak for my story since it recently had plastic surgery and is unable to move its lips, it is annoyed to a great length at the fact that Mero has yet to edit the prologue and chapter one so that itsuma may create the The Catalyst world and load the chapters so that they may be read and loved...0,o So COME ON WOMAN!!!!
Currently watching/listening to the hysterical movie Tropic Thunder while waiting to nap and then head off to see friend(s) in and at the school play, A MidSummer Nights Dream. But first I must use the restroom and think up more doodle ideas for the wondrous world of Blob.
P.S. if you ever feel the need to contact a banana flavored lima bean, I warn you they have a nasty temper and terrible manners...
